25 10 / 2011
you are my best friend, my go to person, my calm, my security, my shoulder, my laughter, my tears, everything im sure of… till now. I love you so much, too the moon and back and i mean that, u will always be somethin bitter sweet to me. u will always be in my mind wonderin how ur day is, texting you everyday is one thing.. but seeing u will be hard, when i know i cant touch you, feel you. your heart. but troy deserves a chance too, and i deserve it too, im goin too be with him most likely, and im so scared, scared im ganna lose you as this friendship we have now. how do u let go of something your so sure of wanting. your my ex boyfirend not just ” a friend ” troy isnt ganna like that, so that puts me in a tough position. your so amazingly pure too me. im so proud of you with where ur at in life, and even through whatever im still ganna be ur biggest fan, alwaysalways. and even tho i tell u how much i need you, u will never know how i feel about that. i really do love you. so this really does hurt. bad. and people say this is for the better, u deserve too be happy. idk so much, all this goes through my mind everyday all day. i want the best for me and you…
work is exhausting, but its my life, it takes up my life.
jack hayden, when i see his face and spend time with him nothing else matters when im with that little boy., and all my babies.
troy, god u make me happy. i love just layen in bed with you, i love the progress were maken. ur so cute :)! <3
09 10 / 2011
noone one has ever from day one given me that feeling during sex..
it felt like we were together again.. like u were mine again. but u have too leave, and i understand that, and i respect that, but im ganna miss you till i see you again.. who knows when that will be.. just for One day together u make the world stop, and its just me and you.
i love you matthew john himick
even tho i cant tell u that, and we cant be together, you will and always mean love too me.
04 9 / 2011
Havent Writen In Forever.
Im always workin, im always exhausted. I dont have time for anyone really, not even myself .. I dont watch tv barely,my work is my life now, and i dont care cause its money, moral of this story is im tired.. Always. I dont know about you anymore, evrything is a lie..
06 8 / 2011
I love you, as much As im ganna try too move on cause u told me too, prob wont happen. i dont wanna text you, cause thats not letting myself heal if i do. yes ur my friend, one of my best friends. but its hard.. if you ever decide that its worth it, then ill be right here. yah she wants you, and believes in you guys but i dont wanna lose you.
all i know is ur on my mind 24/7, and ur nothing like i ever felt before.
